Teetering on the brink of divorce? But also unsure if ending things is REALLY the right choice?
You have a long and meaningful history together, but things definitely aren’t good NOW. You’re getting to a place where you can’t take it anymore.
You want to stay together for the kids, but at what cost?
You may even respect some parts of each other, but there is too much conflict and no more spark. You need something different.
If you’re reaching the end, but feeling conflicted about it, Discernment Counseling is for you. It’s a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at options for your marriage. It gives you a chance to decide what you really want without regrets.Discernment Counseling is a new, research-based way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship—and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help–and the other is “leaning in”—that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage. Your counselor will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later. The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future. The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. No bad guys, no good guys. You will come in as a couple but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with your counselor. Why? Because you are starting out in such different places your counselor wants to be able to give each of your concerns the time and energy they deserve. The counselor respects your reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health. The counselor emphasizes the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and looking at possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.
Important Information About Discernment Counseling:
- Entire process lasts a maximum of five counseling sessions
- Each session lasts 1.5 – 2 hours
- You come to each session together, but majority of conversations with counselor will be one-on-one
- Focus of sessions is on deciding what to do next, NOT on solving relationship problems
Discernment Counseling is Not a Good Choice When:
- When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
- When one spouse is coercing the other to participate
- When there is danger of domestic violence