Ready to Improve Your Relationship Habits?

I’ve been busy the past few months studying habits – especially the powerful influence habits can have on our mood, productivity levels, self-esteem, and relationships. This topic has opened up a whole new world for me in how I approach therapy, understanding how relationships work, and the way I live my everyday life. I’m excited to share with you some of what I’ve learned!

Over the next few weeks I’m going to post ideas to help you develop productive habits (and ridding yourself of pesky bad habits!). As usual, I’ll be focusing primarily on relationships – habits that will improve your interactions with those people you care about most.

By the way, much of my inspiration for these ideas comes from a great book I read recently: Atomic Habits by James Clear. Check it out if you get the chance!

Habits are a form of problem-solving

As a starting place for our habits discussion, I want you to think about your habits as a way to solve some sort of problem. For example:

  • Having a few drinks resolves feelings of anxiety or depression
  • Watching TV gets your mind off worries about work
  • Exercising renews your energy and improves self-esteem
  • Looking at your phone distracts you from stress of home life
  • Brushing your teeth removes bad breath and prevents cavities
  • Going to therapy every week makes you feel more confident and satisfied 😉

This list could obviously go on and on and on….

What are your relationship habits?

So if we were to focus on your approach to your relationship, what PROBLEMS are most important for you to solve? Think about the repeated complaints/issues you bring up with your partner. They might include things like:

  • Feeling disconnected
  • Feeling your partner doesn’t care about you
  • Having too little time to spend together
  • Lack of physical intimacy
  • Wanting to feel emotionally close
  • Poor communication
  • Avoidance of problems
  • Blaming/criticizing

Now what things do you do to resolve these problems?

The answers to this question are your relationship habits!

Your habits may be productive (ie, solve problems) or unproductive (ie, do nothing or make problems worse). Right now, I want you to just think about your relationship habits to gain a clearer sense of WHAT YOU DO. No judgment, just trying to understand yourself better.

In future blogs, I will talk in more depth about habits and give you ideas about how you can effectively apply them to your relationships.

Please email me with any comments or questions. I’d love to hear from you!