Teetering on the brink of divorce? But also unsure if ending things is REALLY the right choice? Discernment Counseling can help.
You have a long and meaningful history together, but things definitely aren’t good NOW. You’re getting to a place where you can’t take it anymore.
You want to stay together for the kids, but at what cost?
Maybe you even respect some parts of each other, but there is too much conflict and no more spark. You need something different.
If you’re reaching the end, but feeling conflicted about it, Discernment Counseling is for you. It’s a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at options for your marriage. It gives you a chance to decide what you really want without regrets.
The Creator of Discernment Counseling, Dr. Bill Doherty, Explains the Process
Please watch the short video below to learn more about how discernment counseling could help you in your situation.
As Dr. Doherty explained above, discernment counseling is a new, research-based method of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship—and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help–and the other is “leaning in”—that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage.
Dr. Brigg Noyes of the Salt Lake Relationship Center trained with Dr. Doherty and is now an experienced discernment counselor. In your sessions, he will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.
The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.
We do not try to solve your marital problems but try to see if they are solvable. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. No bad guys, no good guys.
You will come to each counseling session as a couple but the most important work occurs in one-to-one conversations with Dr. Noyes. Why? Because you are starting out in such different places your counselor wants to be able to give each of your concerns the time and energy they deserve.
Discernment counseling is a process that respects your reasons for wanting divorce while also remaining open to the possibility of restoring the marriage to health.
Throughout your meetings, Dr. Noyes emphasizes the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and looking at possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.
Important Information About Discernment Counseling:
- Entire process lasts a maximum of five counseling sessions
- Each session lasts 1.5 – 2 hours
- You come to each session together, but majority of conversations with counselor will be one-on-one
- Focus of sessions is on deciding what to do next, NOT on solving relationship problems
Discernment Counseling is Not a Good Choice When:
- Leaning out spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
- One spouse is coercing the other to participate
- There is danger of domestic violence