Discernment Counseling

Teetering on the brink of divorce? But unsure if ending things is REALLY the right choice?

Discernment Counseling can help.

You have a long and meaningful history together, but things aren’t good NOW. You’re getting to a place where you can’t take it anymore.

You want to stay together for the kids, but at what cost?

Maybe you even respect some parts of each other, but there is too much conflict and no more spark. You need something different.

If you’re reaching the end but feeling conflicted about it, Discernment Counseling is for you. It’s a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at options for your marriage. It gives you a chance to decide what you really want without regrets.

The Creator of Discernment Counseling, Dr. Bill Doherty, Explains the Process

Please watch the short video below to learn more about how discernment counseling could help you in your situation.

As Dr. Doherty explains, discernment counseling is a new, research-based method of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship – and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help – and the other is “leaning in” – that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage.

As the lead therapist at Salt Lake Relationship Center, I trained with Dr. Doherty and am now an experienced discernment counselor. In your sessions, I will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.

The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.

We do not try to solve your marital problems but try to see if they are solvable. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage. No bad guys, no good guys.
You will come to each counseling session as a couple, but the most important work occurs in one-to-one conversations with me. Why? Because you are starting out in such different places, I want to be able to give each of your concerns the time and energy they deserve.

Discernment counseling is a process that respects your reasons for wanting divorce while also remaining open to the possibility of restoring the marriage to health.

Throughout your meetings, I will emphasize the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and looking at possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.

Important Information About Discernment Counseling:

Entire process lasts a maximum of five counseling sessions
Each session lasts approximately 1.5 hours
You come to each session together, but the majority of conversations will be one-on-one
Focus of sessions is on deciding what to do next, NOT on solving relationship problems

Discernment Counseling is Not a Good Choice When:

Leaning out spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
One spouse is coercing the other to participate
There is danger of domestic violence

Discernment Counseling is something different. It does not guarantee that your marriage will survive, but it gives you a better chance of feeling better about yourself and your relationship, no matter what the outcome. You will have more confidence and clarity about the decisions you are making, allowing you to move forward in a positive way.

Contact us now to schedule a discernment counseling session and get the help you need making confident choices in your marriage. We’re here to support you create the best life possible.