“What should we do tonight?”
“Oh I don’t know…. Find something on Netflix?”
[internally sighing] “I guess that sounds good….. What should we eat? Take out?”
[internally sighing] “Yeah, I guess so…. Where should we go?” [internally knowing they’ll probably get food from the same Thai place they almost always get food from].
“I don’t know…. Where do you want to go? Thai?” [internally wanting to try something else, but knowing that they ALWAYS get Thai, so why rock the boat?].
Does this exchange sound/feel familiar? I know it sounds familiar to ME! I’ve done it myself what seems like a million times, and I’ve heard it many times from people I work with in therapy. There is of course nothing wrong with staying in, snuggling down to watch a movie, and eating food from your favorite place.
But what happens when you do this every weekend? When you get in a RUT???
One of the most important characteristics of successful relationships is they find ways to have fun together. So how do these couples do it? How are they able to consistently maintain fun, keep the spark alive? And more importantly, are you one of them? Let’s find out what kind of things you do if you are one of these couples:
- As an INDIVIDUAL, you have interests you are passionate about that you want to share with your lover – your passion creates opportunities for fun!
- You are open to exploring new experiences, even if it is not something you are inherently interested in
- In other words, you are open to enthusiastically joining your partner in his/her passions
- You and your husband recognize the value of VARIETY. You inherently understand that no one activity can keep anyone happy day after day, night after night. You therefore spend some time out socializing with friends, some time alone with just each other, and some time with your kids.
- You and your wife are also highly influenced by the positive impact of unexpected, new, and maybe even “risky” experiences. You are good at “being in the moment” and letting life come to you in a way that leads you to feel ALIVE.
- Most couples are very familiar with the extreme form of this feeling that occurs in the beginning “falling in love” stage of relationships, a time when everything is new. But you and your lover are especially successful at recreating this feeling (at least for short periods of time 🙂 ).
- You and your boyfriend are dedicated to intimate fun that is shared by only the two of you
- Other shared special activities like hiking, traveling, dancing, cooking, etc.
So how successful are you at creating fun in your relationship? Is this something that comes naturally or are there areas where you struggle? You likely have some places in your life where you easily have fun. However, it is often difficult to maintain fun on a consistent basis, especially when complications of life interfere.
The counselors at the Salt Lake Relationship Center are expert sources of support and ideas in improving this area of your life. Contact us or schedule an appointment today. Having more fun in your relationship can make all the difference!!!