Living Like Roommates? Or Worse?
It’s Time to Bring the Love and Connection Back
Marriage was supposed to be great. Of course, you knew it was going to have its challenges, but this??? This is just… disappointing. And WAY too hard! And it hurts SO much – no wonder divorce seems like a good idea sometimes!
When we get married, we dream of a bright future and hope to make ourselves better people. We imagine a long life of love, support, and happiness. When these dreams start breaking apart with poor communication, bitter fighting, distance, and lack of trust, we wonder if it’s even worth it.
Maybe your spouse seems like a completely different person from the one you first fell in love with:
“She used to come home early and hang on my every word, but now she works all the time! She doesn’t even seem that interested in what I have to say.”
“He used to love having sex. He was so into me – it was awesome! Now I’m the only one who initiates, and it seems like even then I’m kind of forcing him into it.”
In the beginning, you’re so in love. Over time, you feel disconnected and uncared for. You find yourself in a different relationship from the one you started. It’s confusing, hurtful, and anxiety-provoking. Add to this the stresses of everyday life like kids, work, health, and finances. It’s no wonder marriage starts to lose its shine.
It’s Normal to Struggle in Your Marriage
You may feel it’s a failure to even consider marriage counseling. You can’t believe your relationship has reached this point…
Well, we disagree! We’re glad you’re seeking help and recognize the tremendous strength it takes to make it this far. We want you to know that marriage problems are EXTREMELY common. In fact, if most failed marriages put in some effort in counseling, the divorce rate would drop significantly!
It’s Hard to Connect When You Live a Stressful Life
Does your life resemble anything like this?
It had been an exhausting day… you worked up until the moment you picked up the kids from school and barely made it to piano, ballet, and soccer.
You grabbed some takeout for dinner and tried to support the kids with their homework. This was a REAL challenge because your 12-year-old daughter had a meltdown. Something happened at school today, but with her hormones all over the place, she seems to have no ability to deal with anything!
You feel hopeful and relieved when you hear the garage door open, signaling the arrival of your husband. But your heart falls and emotional walls go up when you see and feel his irritation.
He must have had a bad day. I can’t deal with that right now….
A couple hours later, having survived the night, you crawl into bed. You look forward to your husband joining you, so you can talk and decompress from the long day. To your shock and surprise, he tries to initiate sex!
What? How could he so badly misread my cues? I am SO not in that space right now!
Your hurt and anger bubble to the surface as you turn him down. You see him shutting down with his own hurt feelings as he turns away and shuts off his light. You know from experience he is feeling uncared for and like you’re not attracted to him.
You can’t deal with his feelings right now because he doesn’t seem to care about your needs. Your need to talk and connect. He clearly doesn’t get it.
All he cares about is sex.
You fall asleep feeling hurt and disconnected, not knowing how to bridge the emotional gulf between you. Now you’re walking on eggshells….
WHAT A MESS!
Before you know it, small misunderstandings can turn into large disconnects in a relationship. As you navigate the different and constantly changing roles you have in your marriage, it’s easy to slip off course.
Marriage Counseling Helps You Reconnect with Your Spouse
Our goal for you is to move your relationship from a source of stress and pain to one of support and joy. Relationship problems may be normal, but that doesn’t make them easy!
We know that when you are in the middle of it all with your spouse, it can feel overwhelming and hopeless. Especially if you are dealing with longstanding conflict, difficulty communicating, or facing a crisis like an affair or traumatic event, it can feel impossible to know what to do next.
One of our highest priorities at the Salt Lake Relationship Center is creating an environment where both of you have equal opportunity to talk about your concerns in a fair and open way. Good marriage counseling is not possible without this.
People often come to marriage counseling because they are having difficulty communicating with their spouse. Our therapists are skilled at calmly understanding each of your needs and wishes, directing each session where it best needs to go and making sure conversation is productive, not destructive.
This process allows you to relax into learning skills you need to better communicate with your spouse. When you do not have to stay constantly “on guard,” it is easier to listen openly and talk genuinely. Marriage counseling at the Salt Lake Relationship Center provides the safety for this to happen because your therapist is the one in charge.
Ready to Take Your Marriage to the Next Level?
It’s time to end the conflict, distance, and poor communication. It’s time to have a marriage filled with connection and intimacy.
If you’re ready, click here to schedule an appointment with the Salt Lake Relationship Center today.
Still have questions or concerns? We’re happy to talk about anything. Contact us and we’ll happily answer any questions and walk you through the next steps. We look forward to hearing from you!